I recently have been reading about Esther Perel’s theories on love and marriage out of sheer fascination. While this post is not about her (there is so much content to cover, and I want to make sure I have absorbed it before writing about it), her blog has led me to various writings on contemporary love.
Like many people with a Netflix account, I loved Master of None. The parallels I drew to my own relationships, past and current, were surprising and hilarious. The show also led me to believe that Mr. Ansari is far more than a comedic personality, but also an educated commentator on the modern relationship.
His online piece for Time compares our current dating practices to his parents’ arranged marriage. I was surprised to find that by the end of the article I agreed with his idea that the initial process of finding a partner through the Tinder app is not far different from his father’s initial process of choosing a wife. Maybe we need to lose the idea that a quick decision of our initial physical attraction to someone is meaningless, because you cannot truly say that “love is blind” in the first moments of meeting someone. So get real and get over it. The real problem comes much later after the pivotal part of our relationships where we decide to commit. Maybe the idea that love is a choice is important here, as oversimplified as it is. And at the point where the fireworks dim and that fire takes on new meaning, it is totally possible to continue to grow with the right person when you both make the choice to indefinitely love.
I’ll keep sifting through Esther Perel’s work. I really can’t wait to process my thoughts on her ideas on paper. Have you heard of her?
See you soon.